A Long Time Ago (Not So Serious DN story)

Posted: //
Jan. 7, 2018, 8:50 p.m.

Updated //
Jan. 8, 2018, 3:06 p.m.

-A long time ago, at the beginning of time. The Great Dev Team formed from the void three gods.

Fast, small, a cannon made of glass, the first was a corvette, gifted to it was a powerful Warp with the ability to kill ships as it was activated. It was said that this warp could kill even the toughest of ships in a single blink of its drives. Thus dubbing him the God of Slice.

Agile, powerful, the second was a destroyer. Light it may of been, but it was gifted with the Ram, which gave the destroyer the ability to crush and lame all that lay in its path. It was said that the Ram could crack a planet. Thus dubbing him the God of Ram.

Slow, heavy, tough. The last created was a Dreadnought, gifted with the power of Tank. Armor that would last for days and weapons that could fire for hours at a time. It was said that not even a heart of a star could melt its armor. thus dubbing him the Immortal Dreadnought.

Each god was given a domain to watch over and play in, and all was well. Each ship made their domains their own, each tailored to the ships they made and abilities they had.

Until jealousy began to settle in. Each ship coveting what the others had, the powers, the armor, the speed. Soon all three were building armies and met in the void between their domains to fight.

The battle lasted for ages. Ships on all sides threw themselves to their death with reckless abandon, serving their gods as the three slaughtered the other troops, trying to get to each other so they may take what had been gifted to their others.

When the battle was winding down, only the battered remains of ships and the three gods faced off against each other, did the Great Dev Team take notice and thus declared them unbalanced. For their sins in their abuse of their powers, they would form the universe and be trapped in the star system to be named Sol, nerfed and unable to use their powers to their full potential.

The Great Dev team made the patch and thus all three Gods faded from memory, going from real to myth, their powers claimed as exaggerated and OP.


Many years past in the Sol system and they gave rise to the Humans and Transhumans. The war between the two was brutal and even being mere child's tale, the gods of olde still lived and the creativity of war and need to invent gave them strength.

Not enough though. Still trapped in nerfhell by the Great Dev Team, each god reached out after the war to find their champions.

The God of Slice picked a human known only as Randy MaBoB. Coming to him in a vision after he definitely didn't eat too much food at the local Scumbelt diner, the God of Slice spoke to him, telling him of his power and gifting his corvette an assault warp and filling his mind with the knowledge to use it properly. The God of Slice made him his champion, to spread the cause of the Great Slice.

The God of Ram found his champion in one called Grimmhammer. Coming to him after he had been streaming for too long, the god then spoke, assuring he was not an energy drink induced illusion. Giving unto him the beautiful Vindicta and its various rams, the god told him to purge, plasma, ram and kill everything possible, and gave him the insanity streak to do it. The God of Ram made him his champion and told him to spread the world of the Glorious Ram, by any means possible.

The Immortal Dreadnought, however did not find a single champion. Coming to the clan of Battlegroup Valkyrie led by one named Stalker after an insanity run battles, it told them of his cause and his tactics. Plesantly surprised to find that the BGV already had a move jokingly named after his legend, he told them to spread the work of it. The BGV formed a church around him and pray for his blessings before battles. The Immortal Dreadnought had gained a following of its own champions.

Now the god ships are still weak, but with every battle grow stronger as they face off against their enemies, preparing to come back into the universe when the Great Dev teams breaks something next update.

(I got really bored and wrote this. please enjoy.)

The Trident Dreadnought, for when you need firepower, but not right now.

Posted: //
Jan. 7, 2018, 8:52 p.m.


Fleet Commander


Posted: //
Jan. 7, 2018, 11:10 p.m.

lmao thats awesome

Fear thy ram for its speed is quick and its ram is bound with plasma :: @GrimmHammer (Twitter) :: (my twitch discord, features guides,builds, and reviews) :: :: Mentor Night Coordinator

Posted: //
Jan. 16, 2018, 9:58 p.m.

lol thanks Grim

The Trident Dreadnought, for when you need firepower, but not right now.

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