FORUMS


Hard times



Posted: //
Aug. 9, 2018, 8:38 p.m.



You Guys are a bit of a Family for me. Baite is mah Daddy and Chris the evil Grandfather. No, no just trying to be funny. Really.

This is some kind emotional, messed up whatever post about my real past, enjoy.

First things first, I am a Monster. Since I had started to get in trouble on the DN Discord, my Mind, my Sanity has started to crumble. Now I am unable to express or understand human emotion, I do not have a Soul anymore. I am viewing myself as a Spectator, uninterested in taking part in Society. I am a hypocrite and a bigot. I want this relationship here to persist, so I am gonny keep my secrets. Last time on another Discord, it just ended with a whola lotta People who talked about hunting and masskilling People like me, they banned me ofc and outright hate me. I am an arrogant f^ck who wants to take Mankind into his own hands.

I am justifying this Development with my hard past. Imagine the following. You are like five years old, going to the Kindergarten. There are bullies who humiliate you, and they grow up with you. Multiple years forced to be together with them, and then comes Elementary school. Imagine that this Torture, those beatings, would continue for four more entire years.I got "choked" atleast two times, but they did more ram their fingernails deep into my throat. Imagine around six years of bullying and humilation. I tried to comit suicide atleast two times. In the 5th grade (or 6th?) all bullies were gone. I adapted slowly. But I got in trouble with a Gal, like before in Elementary School. If I see a pretty Girl, I just wanna have her. Chipinators, just imagine what you experienced, but irl from person to person. Anyway, a Girl tried to push me down the Stone Stairs, and that was the final push. I got a breakdown. I tried to jump out of a Window, landing on a rusty spiked Fence, I just wanted it all to end. They had to drag me away. The aftermath was just as bad. I am not a complete Monster, and I can prove it. There was a Situation when I were like 14, confirmation class. This is a true Story. Two bullies from elementary School grabbed me and dragged me outside, fat and strong guys. On the Way out, there were two tables. On the right, there was a Knife, with a long and sharp Blade. On the left, a basket full with fresh Apples. What would you choose? Keep in mind, I were fourteen, and doing something with the knife would've been a youth crime. I chose an Apple, grabbed one before it was too late. They wanted to throw me on a Street. A small Village, very little Traffic. I threw the Apple at the Face of the leading bully, then I nearly stabbed him one Eye out. Fingernails can be a good defence.

I am broken, completely Mental. You would be disguted by me, if I would tell you all. Is it my fault that I turned into a soulless hypocritic SJW bigot, antisemitic and xenophobic?

Can you Guys accept me? Can you like me?

Why did I have to suffer for my entire Childhood?


The community should not be afraid of the developers- The developers should be afraid of their community. carrier

^I want to believe^

https://youtu.be/z_Gd9-IfYzw


Posted: //
Aug. 9, 2018, 8:54 p.m.



sounds like youre just going through the paces of being a teenager


you won't escape my Frightning bolts!!!


Posted: //
Aug. 9, 2018, 10:51 p.m.



I am really confused by this.



Posted: //
Aug. 10, 2018, 4:32 a.m.



SkyRaider#3584 posted (#post-224546) said:

I am really confused by this.

That's ok, really.


The community should not be afraid of the developers- The developers should be afraid of their community. carrier

^I want to believe^

https://youtu.be/z_Gd9-IfYzw


Posted: //
Aug. 10, 2018, 11:10 a.m.



Well man, there are people out there far better to talk to about this stuff than we are. Teenage years are a hot mess tbh. They can be some of the best years of your life and the worst all at once.

If You ever feel like you need to talk to someone, there are numbers you can call and those people can help you. Never be afraid to ask for help.


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Posted: //
Aug. 10, 2018, 3:18 p.m.


Updated //
Aug. 10, 2018, 3:18 p.m.

What in the Godzs is this about?????

I'm not sure if you need a pep talk or a vial of vallium.

Work on yourself. Improve yourself. The correct question that needs an answer is DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF and CAN YOU ACCEPT YOURSELF? You need to be able to confidently answer "YES" to this question.

Also, wouldn't a SJW bigot, antisemitic and xenophobic person be a complete contradiction of themself?


Posted: //
Aug. 10, 2018, 5:29 p.m.



Also, wouldn't a SJW bigot, antisemitic and xenophobic person be a complete contradiction of themself?

I am complicated. I am both pro and contra at the same time. I am a living contradiction. And I like myself, but I am like Skynet which decided to terminate all humans. I want to make the World a better Place, regardless of the cost, the sacrifices, the casualities. If our Planet would benefit from a Nuclear War, I would do it.

I guessI wanted to make a major statement. I don't know how my future looks like, but I want Humanity to know that I were a human like anyone else.


The community should not be afraid of the developers- The developers should be afraid of their community. carrier

^I want to believe^

https://youtu.be/z_Gd9-IfYzw


Posted: //
Aug. 10, 2018, 5:46 p.m.



in fact I do have the last problem (nuke war...betterworld...) as I do have a retty broken sense of grief


Posted: //
Aug. 11, 2018, 7:04 a.m.



Enterprise_NC1701#2026 posted (#post-224552) said:

SkyRaider#3584 posted (#post-224546) said:

I am really confused by this.

That's ok, really.

I mean, I cant really tell how serious this all is. I replied to a similar post lime this before and was apparently way off. If youre looking for advice I can offer some, but know no one here can actually offer therapy, just advice. There are legal reasons behind that.



Posted: //
Aug. 11, 2018, 12:54 p.m.



Nah, I just wanted to tell my Friends here that I had some hard struggles. I don't need Therapy, but thank you


The community should not be afraid of the developers- The developers should be afraid of their community. carrier

^I want to believe^

https://youtu.be/z_Gd9-IfYzw

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